considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
