Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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