Pants 0. Shit 1.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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