i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize