I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
