im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
