3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
