one two three fourrrrnication!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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