Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
