Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
