ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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