Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
