all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
