I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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