I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
