Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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