I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
