Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
