Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
