Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
