mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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