Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
