I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
