Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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