Only a mothe r could love this liver
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
