did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
