come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
