To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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