she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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