There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
