She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize