Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
