Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
40s are totally the cure
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
