the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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