I love black thongs
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
