Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Success! We fucked roommates!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
