I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
