Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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