pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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