apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
