my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
