Sry I called you an 8
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
