lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
