I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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