"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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