"it" just moved
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
