i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
