I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
