i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
