I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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