what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
