I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
