and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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