Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
