Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
